I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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