his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
