So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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