spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
