we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
