Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
