so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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