Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
