Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
