He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
