If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
