It was confusing and full of hummus
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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