Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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