I murdered the dance floor call the cops
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
