It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize