If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
