Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
