All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
