I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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