Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
