yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
