i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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