I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
