Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
