New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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