whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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