Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
