Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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