saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
