If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
