I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
