So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You took a bar mat shot.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
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