i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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