they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
