We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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