Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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