Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
