Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
