found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Randomize
