We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He told me they were just razor bumps!
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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