He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize