The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
