did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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