If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
