I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
