wrigley field is MILF paradise
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
