i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
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