I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
