? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize