shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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