...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
