Me too!
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Randomize
