My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
