Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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