i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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