I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
