so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
i think i just lost a toe
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
