I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
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My thoughts exactly.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
