That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
